Unwavering Faith

Do we ever get a break?

I wanted to start in on a rant after having that very thought one day, but I remembered that if my concerns are with me then I Haven't given them up to God. Let Go

 Follow me on this – A lot of the content online I've been seeing has been based around letting go. This is not a new trend either; it's been sprinkled and dabbled in for the past couple years. Now let me be honest with you, hearing something that long makes it seem like it's super personal. As if God himself is manning everyone's executive producers' position and has a message JUST for YOU. That’s the way I was feeling at every turn, it felt like I was failing miserably. I had what felt like a bomb blow up in my face when it came to my plans for life and I just kept hearing let go. Let it be. Let things work out. I committed myself to doing just that- Letting go of what I thought the promise meant and holding on to my faith that God’s already worked it out for me. 

In my small but famous hometown things move at their own pace. Influence is obvious here and, depending on where you look, you could be in love with it or despise it. I haven't traveled to too many small towns but I imagine it's like that in a few of those places as well. It's a prison for those that don't want to be there and a secured resort for those that do. At a certain point it's about the mindset shift that has to be put in place to keep the panic away, the anxiety at bay and the kind relief of knowing more wants you to live than die in close proximity. That relief is one of the main reasons I chose to create a community around our testimonies.  So many of us have the same concerns.

I was amazed by what I came up against when I decided to let go. The jealousy for just being confident enough to try something different. The envy and reproach I was served for believing I was worth more than what I was being handed. It's painful to give someone a title in your life as an honor for them to not even be able to explain why they can't live up to it. The pain that we as women face in the world became so evident when I faced mine and didn’t sweep it under the rug. 

Conversation after conversation confirmed to me that I wasn’t the only one that was limping through obstacles like these but still fighting with unyielding faith towards the finish line. That low enemy energy is busy!

 The spirits that lie in wait for me were eager to see me let go in hopes that I would also let go of my faith in God and be eaten by the city. I had let go of the title of Christian and Identified as Spiritual and that must have been the start of the raising of the white flag to some. But they were wrong! It was only me learning who I am and where my lines and boundaries are. I had several conversations with people who were both similar and different from my own perspective so I could contrast the truth. The truth of the matter  was that I released the title of Christian because I was afraid I wasn't living up to a high standard of Christianity that included reading the bible day and night, knowing the verses by heart and knowing every hymn there was to know. At one point I wasn't even attending church regularly [ most points actually]. I had lived with boyfriends and had never been married, even though I had wanted to be. I didn't even have an excuse not to have my life right- I was my only dependent. Something in me made me feeI I didn't deserve such unconditional love. 

It was my return to my childhood faith that reminded me that whether I deserved it or not I had that unconditional love because God didn't leave my side when I started calling myself spiritual. He allowed me to connect to his power within me to make moves in my life toward something better. My family and the few friends I had were there too but it was clear God wanted me to learn how to rely on Him to strengthen who I was.  He didn't completely clear my path, soak up all my fears, take away all the hurt I would face, answer all of my questions in advance or allow me to believe it would be without pain but He did go before me and make the path possible! And as I continued to read more and more of the bible His reassurances were right there waiting on me- ready to burst off the page and take a seat behind my eyes. I read and I learned my life’s version of his truths. The truth is I am very much a believer in God, Christ and the holy spirit and those beliefs mark my life in ways I couldn’t see up close but He and others could from their perspective. 

 God doesn't take his eyes off us, no matter what situation we go through. He allows us to Identify with Him as close or as far as we want to, he still shows us love. Does everything work out perfectly every time? Nope, that’s not his promise. 

His promise is that when people wrong me, if I let it go and do not harbor a grudge, he will help me get over it, learn a lesson and be better for it. If I never let go then He can’t help me forgive them like God forgives us.

I hope this is painting a picture in your mind…

Some people say they let go of things with a bald up fist.

That's impossible.

You have to open your hand first in order to let go of what is in it.

It's impossible to leave something behind if you never let go of it. I can still remember some of the wallets, bags, etc. I’ve left or lost because I put them down.

Sometimes what we are called to let go of can seem like it takes the rest of our life with it– A dream, a hope, a reason to keep going, something external.

But if our strength lies outside of us, we will always be dependent on that source. That’s why God, faith, fills our inner cup so that we can fight whatever comes externally OR internally with the knowledge that whoever is doubting us, even if it's ourselves, we are able to overcome that doubt and continue on our path's purpose, on to our passion. 

Whatever we lose en route to our destination God has a plan to replace it with something better.

So when I get the urge to rant incessantly about a problem that has been set before me, I remember that I co-captain with God and can come to him with all my needs and he will supply me with answers from one of his many Executive Producer seats.

Until next posting,

Dominique♥️

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